How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
