i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
