a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
