Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
