I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
