I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
