i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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