Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
