I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
