I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
