My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
