check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
PANTIES FOUND
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
