i jhust puked up my retainher.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
