Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
