It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize