When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
