i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
