NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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