just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's rum buckets o'clock
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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