so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
