My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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