They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
