Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
