It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
