i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's blow job season.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
