I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize