I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Randomize
