I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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