I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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