one two three fourrrrnication!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
