Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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