just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
