Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
