They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
