He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well I just put wine in my tea
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
