we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
