Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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