I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
