YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
