She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
