why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
its liver damage thursday
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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