can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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