the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
