you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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