we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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