mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
