What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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