I can text with my tongue
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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