are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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