I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
