If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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