I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
thus making me awesome and them whores
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
