he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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