Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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