Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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