I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
