she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
