i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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