I think i sorta joined a cult last night
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
