i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I currently don't understand fingers.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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