I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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