Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
